1.Brown Bag Of Dreams
Some people know it should have been a warning.
I did not heed the warning. I'm not prepared for morning.
Brown bag of dreams.
That's what the poet's say. I don't agree.
A Brown bag of dreams is just a brown bag of buzz to me.
Open early, I've got the money. Open up I'm feeling fuzzy.
Don't need a cup, I've got a bottle.
Don't tell me what it ought to be.
2.Capricorn One
Capricorn One - what have you done？
You should have landed on the sun.
Capricorn One.
You see, the real astronauts -
the government tried to kill 'em.
I read the book adaptation of the film.
It was a great big hoax. An interstellar lie.
And it was filmed on soundstage five.
I don't know what could have been stupider.
Now there's a trail of comets hitting Jupiter.
3.Daphne Stepping Sideways
Daphne stepping sideways. Watch her step sideways
just like a crab steps sideways. Crawl, crawl, crawl sideways.
Daphne dodging gunfire. Hope she sees the tripwire.
Crabs can't see the tripwire.
Daphne doesn't know her name's Daphne.
Is Daphne crazy？ Daphne's sane.
4.E.e.
You say, 'impunity'.
I'm not so small.
You're reading into this.
Cut another notch in your table leg.
Another dead poet washed away.
You're proud of all your friends.
They don't have any feelings.
They know so goddamn much.
A snap of the finger sends me reeling,
has me kneeling, e.e. cummings.
e.e. cummings
5.Everybody's Dead (Oh, No)
I asked my father for a ten dollar bill.
He said money would do me no good
because everybody's dead and the stores are all closed.
Well, not really closed,
but full of dead people and product galore.
I said fine, if not ten, how about five？
Dead people can't count, at least none that I know.
Everybody's dead (oh, no)
6.Flinch Mob
Honey, I'm with the Flinch Mob.
I'll clean up your inkspot.
I love just the red dot.
Pencil through my hand.
You always go to work sick.
I think you had a wood tick.
The virus will not hurt you.
Pencil through my hand.
Looking for the right coat,
laughing like a mountain goat,
spending all my time with a
Pencil through my hand.
7.Freud Was Right
Women want a dick
Guys want tits.
Baby's gotta shit.
I love my mother.
Freud was right.
Dad should die.
Mom should spread her legs real wide
It's an old story, sad but true.
Stephen Hawking loves his mother too.
8.Head Through Iowa Now
I was on a collision course with passion,
exacerbating my hypertension,
when I realized I was in Iowa
and you were in Burma again.
God, it's been so long since I saw the Ugly Child
and felt your cool wet lips
like mine, cool and wet.
Don't hedge your bet.
I'll bet a shrub you'll never hedge your bet.
Head through Iowa now.
9.How Did You Meet Them？
A golf course spins around my head.
A pane of glass is in my bed.
You were once in my bed.
How did you meet them？
Did you meet them in the parking lot
where mom got raped and dad got shot？
Their ugly children dressed in socks？
You're a lucky woman.
The roulette wheel is stuck in place.
The open field where cows are grazing.
It's no wonder I'm so lazy.
You're a lucky woman.
The parking lot it's a crap shoot, of course.
A kid-sized shot glass of welcomed force.
A box with pictures from your divorce.
How did you meet them？
10.Making Love In The Pew
Gotta go to church on Sunday
wash my sins right down the drain
If I come here long enough,
they'll cleanse me, make me pure again.
There's nothing wrong with makin' love in the pew.
I love you, God. Oh, god I love you.
J.C. said to love your neighbor.
Well, I'll love her while I pray.
And I'll learn to love my neighbor
always on a Sunday.
You know, religion, it ain't that bad...
some people put it down because
it doesn't have a sturdy base
and preys on faith and hope and love.
11.Marriage At 30,000 Feet
I got married at 30,000 feet
to the woman I love
for the parcel of meat
she had strapped to her back
made a horrible parachute.
Don't use meat for a parachute.
Meat chute
Wife lose.
I love you.
We traded our vows and the rings on our fingers.
A union sanctified by God.
In the marriage at 30,000 feet
12.Old Boxing Footage
My friend and I were watching TV
and we saw some old boxing footage
What ever happened to Howard Cosell？
I hope his sores are healing well.
The fruits of his labors are stored in the case.
Would you undress for the faintest of tastes？
Sounds like a waste.
All he's got, he's got to sell.
His life is fun
or maybe just funny.
Whites are hard, yolks are runny.
13.Poochy Woman
I will buy you things. Things that make your teeth shine.
I will buy you gifts with my one thin dime
Time is but a thought. I think you've got the time
to give me all your poochy. Poochy woman dance with me.
14.Singles At Church
They don't like blacks.
They don't like plastic.
They don't like jews.
They don't like plastic.
So what do they do with their hard-earned coin？
Singles at church get kicked in the groin.
Singles at church - are they hard at work
or hardly working？
Hand on the chicken neck, slowly jerking.
Will a mouthful of you do？
For singles at church.
15.The Caring Song
Four hard lashes to the back of a child
Barely old enough to talk like a baby
but in enough pain to scream,
'Oh my God! AHHHHH!! OWWW!
OH, NO!!!'
But it turned the little creep on
Now he's gonna fuck with your car.
'Cause he knows what he needs
to make his little vandal bleed.
Where did he go wrong？
That's why we sing the caring song.
16.Yesterday Her Lugs Exploded
It seems that yesterday she got pulled over
by an overzealous traffic cop.
He told her she could beat the rap
if he could beat the crap out of her.
And she said, 'NO!'
'Yesterday, my lugs exploded.
Now the law wants me exploited.
Ten years ago I was anointed.'
And that is when she stretched and pointed
to the place where lugs exploded.
On the ground her hub eroded.
Cops are mean
and now she knows it.
17.An Appointment With Death
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